I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
