you guys were way drunker than both of me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
