Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
