He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Randomize
