fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
