I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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