hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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