16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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