I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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