I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
