You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
