Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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