Plan B is the new Plan A
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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