Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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