We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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