I cannot find my penis.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
