im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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