And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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