Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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