it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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