so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
