your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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