So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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