we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
