Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I had to cum in my sink.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
