Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
