I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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