sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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