You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
