Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
