your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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