doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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