holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
