I think my fart just growled at me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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