Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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