glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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