she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
