Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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