am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
