You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
