explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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