she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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