butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
