I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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