the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
