i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
