Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
