I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
