then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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