I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
